I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Randomize