I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I accidentally burped into my bong.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize
