You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
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you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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