i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
