Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
