you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
