Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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