She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
