Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize