are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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