I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
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