Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
