they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
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I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
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they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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