What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
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It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
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Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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