Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
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We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
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You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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