You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
