when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
