you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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