Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
