Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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