I'm going to jail i love you
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
splinters make it hard to masturbate
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
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