if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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