and next time when you feel me up, do it right
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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