you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
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When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
So. Much. Porn.
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