How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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