How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
