yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
My breasts were aching with rage.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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