Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Sorry about my life...
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
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