the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
