Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
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Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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