I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Nicole vs. Life
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize