some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
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