Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
My vagina just clenched in fear
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
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