Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
