Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Did you just see the Batmobile???
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
