the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
My ATM looks so different sober.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
