Where did you get a picture of my penis
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
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