Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
