My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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