I've ID'd the nipple biter.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I will pee on everything he values.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize