a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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