I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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