What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Randomize
