I never want to see another naked old woman again.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
