Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
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I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
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My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
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