Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
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