In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
