office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
