At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
what day is it and did you see me today?
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
