I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
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