just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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