my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
