You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Randomize
